Dear Person Who Stole our set of Dewalt Tools AGAIN
That's it.
You are very mean. I would like to curse, but I won't. We all would. How could you do this to us again? Bad bad bad.
I'm scratching my head over how anyone can be so evil-minded. The first time, really, we were suckers. No one had ever stolen much from us here at our community in the woods before and we left our new tools in our open garage. Sure. It was partly our fault, for being naïve. Not that it lets you off the hook at all.
But now we lock our garage every time we go in and out. It's locked all the time, even on a workday, so that the guys who are working have to unlock it every time they need anything, which is a huge pain in the rear for them. My dad even described my superstar husband as being neurotic about the garage. First time your fault, second time ours, right? We've started locking everything.
Except that you appear to have picked the lock to the garage door. There's no other explanation.
Are you proud of yourself? It was bad enough to have to buy the same set of tools twice. Now we don't even have the means to get them again. And we're going to have to buy a dog. And an alarm system. And some backwoods militia. And gang members, too. And Jedi Knights.
What do you think we do with those tools, anyways? Do you imagine us sitting around counting wads of money with drill bits? Or cutting diamonds with our table saw? Nope! Nope that's not it. Right now the members of our little community are fixing up a little house for my family. Because all five of us live in a 280 square foot cabin. Which I try very very hard not to complain about because I met a lot of people in India who lived with a lot less. But lately the walls feel like they are closing in on me a bit, when all the kids cry at the same time for some unearthly reason, and we've had a bit of a tough winter with floods and the water going out all the time and the roads being closed and neck tumors and YOU'RE NOT MAKING IT ANY BETTER. Not to mention that we found out that you also stole all of Jaime's guitars out of his cabin.
It's not like we've never been stolen from before. When we had a community house on Haight Street, an outreach for street kids, an older man named Ambrose walked into my superstar husband's room and stole his beloved guitar. While he was sleeping five feet away. That sucked, especially since we had all given Ambrose a lot of love. We know what it's like to befriend people who are addicted to drugs, how all ethics go out of the window along with self-respect and nice teeth and good veins and a healthy diet. I have to assume you're an addict, since you apparently have no mercy. There really is a better way than that. You can have much more freedom and stop stealing from people who are trying to help people like you.
People with BABIES to feed. Just read Elena's blog where she talks about all the beans we eat.
Anyways, I guess that's enough ranting. But you really did a bad thing.
We are getting that Jedi Knight, by the way. And a dragon. So watch out.