My Dreams

I have a hard time knowing what to answer sometimes, when people ask me how I feel about the surgery that I'm having tomorrow. I don't always know how I feel, it seems all mixed up with what I want to feel and what I should feel and what I feel when I'm well-rested with a full belly compared to 3:00 AM with a rumbling tummy and a crying baby. But my dreams show me a bit, and I'll share it with you.

I've dreamt of doctors and nurses yelling at me. In one dream they were prepping me for the IV and I told them to wait because I was still pumping milk and then I knocked the bottle over and it was glass and it shattered. The nurse turned to me and said, "It would serve you right if you just died."

I dreamt that I was in a motorcycle accident and I came in crying and tried to tell Chinua. He and Derek were talking and they turned to me and Chinua said, "Why are you always so dramatic?" Derek said "Stop looking for attention."

I dreamt I was driving down a steep hill and even with all my weight on the brake I couldn't slow down.

I dreamt that I lost YaYa in a crowd and I spent the whole night frantically looking for her.

I dreamt that I screamed at Kid A. I dreamt that I got mad at my parents and yelled at them for no reason.

I dreamt that we were in our old house at the flat and I went upstairs and our landlord was moving us out without telling us. All our stuff was in boxes and we had nowhere to go.

I dreamt that I fell out of a window with the Leaf Baby and the glass went everywhere and someone caught me by the ankle just as I caught Leaf by the ankle. We stopped just before we hit the pavement.

So, I guess I am a little scared inside. Pray for me.